Archive for January, 2011

Meditations on the single life

Being single, I’m finding, is a hell of a thing.

But I guess I don’t mean that just simply in the romantic sense.  More so in regards to what being single means for my life as a whole.

I find that in the newness of the single life, I, more often then I would really ever like to admit, preoccupy myself with thoughts and longings for things that I may never truly realize, the biggest of which is the thought of another time where I might love again. I spend my time waiting for the next pair of eyes that I’ll see heaven in, as if it is only a matter of time.

Being in love with someone will change your life forever, or at least what seems like it, and with that thought in mind, it’s kind of scary to think that when, for whatever reason, it leaves, you realistically may never find it again.

Life is an endless sea of people.  It really is quite beautiful in it’s vastness, but its frightening for the very same reason. Ultimately, I just want to end up with someone who isn’t afraid to be who they are.  The catch is, though, I won’t be able to do that unless I do the same for myself.

Like-minded people respond in like-minded ways. So the only way I’m ever going find someone right for me, is if I let myself be who I am.

Funny how the simplest concepts in life are frequently the hardest to execute.

But for those of you who have found this message to make sense, I can only say: Fear is nothing more than exactly what it is. It is important not to let it keep you from what your instincts tell you is the truth.



The funny thing about inspiration is that it always seems to pop up completely unexpectedly.

This is a thought that I suppose could be extrapolated to most other good things that occur in life.

So I guess it would be more appropriate to say that most things worth paying attention to in life pop up unexpectedly. But, the thing that I’ve noticed about inspiration in particular is that sometimes I’ll become inspired without even realizing it.

Take music, for example. There are some days where I’ll get this unsatiable thirst for a particular song, or even just for a fragment of a song or for a rhythm.  It’ll stick to me like an itch that I cant scratch for the whole day, even after I’ve listened to it 15 or 20 times.  Now to me this just appears like another circumstance of my apparent OCD. But it’s always in those moments of creation that I realize how endlessly valuable those moments of obsession have been.

The big question to ask though, is whether or not those obsessive moments influenced my creativity in and of themselves, or if they were actually showing me the missing piece that I had been subconsciously waiting for.

Maybe its neither.  Maybe its both.

Maybe its best not to even speculate over it.

But all I know is that this is been a big week for inspiration, and its come to me in a variety of ways.

Now as some of you may or may not know, I’ve recently become heavily invested in a musical project of sorts.  I’m trying to keep the finer details of it under wraps until things are a little further along, but I guess my point in mentioning it is that having a vehicle for both my music expression and that of like-minded musical peers has cause me to have a booty load of epiphanies about creativity and the processes therein.

I suppose as the weeks and months go by, I’ll be using this blog as a method of chronicling all the things that I’m learning along the way.  But one thing in particular that has been getting me recently is the beauty of having a variety of perspectives to work with in a group.  In many ways, It seems like its a lot easier to direct people in order to do what you think sounds right or how you think a song should go. But, being the assumed leader of a music group has turned me on to the idea that trying to bolster cohesion and freedom of interpretation from all of the members of the group rather than trying to “lead it” makes for some really amazing results. A least in the case of like minded people haha.

But anyway. Enough about that. I also wanted to share what I’ve been listening to lately with you.

Check it out.  You might dig it.

M.I.A – Get Around

This track is off of M.I.A’s Vicky Leekxx mixtape (Which you should go check out, if you haven’t yet).  I just really love the production on this tune. The beat is fire.

Mueve la Cintura Mulata

I’m not really sure who made this song, as I got it off a Putomayo CD (Afro-Latin Party).  But if you know anything about me (or if you’ve ever been to a party at my apartment), then you would know I’m absolutely in love with Afro-Latin music.  I think the groove in this tune is supa fly.

Childish Gambino – I Be On That

I actually heard this in my friend James’ car over winter break.  (Shout out to James Abbott! Ooop ooop!). But I was absolutely blown away by his lyrical ability.  This is actually Donald Glover ( The dude from Community, if you’ve ever seen it). Plus the beat is slammin’.  Childish Gambino > Lil Wayne, for sure.

Amy Winehouse – Some Unholy War

I wholeheartedly feel like this is Amy’s best tune. That groove is untouchable. Its  got this smolder and ache that I think is so sensual and smooth and  it creates such a raw, bluesy, soulful atmosphere that I cant help but be entranced by. I just wish it was longer lol.  I usually play this song at least 3 times in a row when i listen to it.  Viva Winehouse!

There are actually two versions of this song.  I like the first one better,  but they’re both awesome. The copyright protection makes it so that you can’t directly embed the videos on here. But when click play, just follow the prompt to watch it on youtube.

lol, 2011

So 12 days into 2011 and it’s already crazy as hell!

Lets see what we’ve we got so far:

– We’ve got snow in 49 out 50 states INCLUDING f*cking Hawaii!









Those orange eating, geriatric, a-holes in the penile state of Florida are the ONLY ones not shuffling through piles of sky dandruff. That’s crazy! Maybe the Day after Tomorrow was accurate after all. But, coming from a state in which snow is basically my life,  it is kind of cute to see the absolute  pandemonium that 1+ inch of snow can cause in warmer states.  Suck it, Arkansas.

-Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords got shot point blank in the f*cking head by Uncle Fester from the Addams Family













This dude is a disgruntled community college dropout whose major influences in life were Friedrich Nietzche, the Drowning Pool, and the wonderful staff over at Fox News.  Now, this is truly a tragedy and my condolences go out to the families of all the people (and children) who didn’t survive the assault. But Giffords, who, once again, got shot in the f*cking head, some how managed to  survive! In fact, shes expected to make almost a full recovery. The bullet went straight through her f*cking brain, people. Nothing short of a miracle and thank whatever god you believe in that she’s ok, but god damn! How many people do you know that got shot in the f*cking head and lived.  Probably not many. That’s crazy as hell!

On a more positive note though, Obama gave a really stirring speech at the joint funeral for all the of the victims. Google it if you missed it

All those birds and fish that just died for no reason









Ok so apparently down-south a bunch of blackbirds just up and f*cking died and fell to the streets below by the dozens. Then shortly thereafter, tens of thousands of dead crab and fish washed up on the shore of Louisiana.

That’s crazy as hell, yawl.

Now there have been many attempts to explain the phenomenon, notable ones being a shift in the magnetic poles which have caused clouds of poisonous gas to form, chemicals leftover from a recent fireworks display, apocalypse, and aforementioned unseasonably cold climate in the south.  But to be honest, no matter what the explanation is that’s just one of those things that is just going to be spooky as sh*t no matter what.  That’s some serious “The Happening” stuff.

We could all learn a lesson from Mark Wahlberg










-Crackhead Ted and his Golden voice













Now this has to be the most hilariously awesome and yet weirdly inspiring stories that I’ve seen on the news in a long time.  So there’s this homeless crack head who, down-trodden, alone, and hurting for crack, had one redeeming talent which, despite a decade of profuse drug use, managed to stay intact.

The man had a absolutely perfect voice for broadcast voice overs.

One day, while begging for money on the street, crackhead Ted encounters a man who, so impressed by his peculiar talent, decides to video tape him and put him on Youtube. Now, after a overwhelming out pour of interest, crackhead Ted is now doing voice overs for pro-sports teams, radio stations, and Kraft foods.

Well I suppose that is a testament to the supposed American Dream or something.

I don’t know. I guess I’m just astonished all of  the weird ways in which people can attain fame in America. I mean I suppose you could say that this is yet another example about how in America “anything is possible”.  But somehow I feel like its a little bit more than that. It seems more like in America “anything is possible” if you are rich enough to buy yourself into whatever you want to achieve, or you’re weird enough to be taken into the waiting arms of the mass media and exploited under the false pretense that you’re actually worth something.

Maybe that’s just me being pessimistic.  But I have long since realize the truth behind the alleged “Beauty of America”

































But all in all…I can only sit back and see how much crazier 2011 gets. Hopefully we just got off to a wild start and things will kind of peter off…

But somehow I don’t think so.

Sit back, relax, and hang on, everybody

Bienvenue à Panda Soul!

Hello everyone and welcome to the funky fresh world of Panda Soul!

Made by me.

Da Panda 🙂

So to kick things off, I believe that, in the immortal words of Ricky Ricardo, I’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do

As some of you may know, I used to run a blog called “Ravenous Panda”. I loved it dearly, I did.  But to be honest with you, the way in which I was writing it was a bit too rigid and demanded more research than I really had time to do.

Last year of college folks.  Sh*t is gettin’ real.

So, bearing those thoughts in mind, I decided that it would be best to scrap “Ravenous Panda” and devote my energies to something new and something a little more personal.

Plus, starting a new blog gave me yet another chance to exert my unhealthy obsession with Pandas on everyone.

And I’ll be DAMNED if I pass up an opportunity to talk about Pandas, yawl.

So, in short, I’m asking you to *bear* with me while I attempt something new ^_^.  I promise to try real hard to keep you both informed and entertained with my sweet and gentle musings.

But I mean, if you’re finding that putting up with my blogging indecisions is becoming too much for you.  I mean…it’s ok I guess. My wounds will heal…


But with all of that said, that brings me to the topic of what this new blog is going to be about.  However, to answer that properly, I believe that is is prudent to discuss some of the events that have occurred in my life in the past 7 or 8 months. I won’t go into excruciating detail, but I will say that there have been a bevy of really dramatic and difficult changes that have affected my priorities, values, and outlook on life.

I know that sounds serious.  But its all good, I promise 😉

But, ultimately all of this “newness” has turned my life from what was a seemingly straight-forward corridor of expected events to a world of expanded options and abilities.

And while this new life of mine has surely been exciting, in some ways its been a hard pill to take. For every smile there is a matching scar.

But for the first time in a long time I’m single, doing things on my own, living for myself, and pursing the goals that I want to pursue and that alone has been nothing short of a epic journey. So that being said, the purpose of this blog is to chronicle this time of my life and to take all of you who care to read my thoughts on a journey through the worlds of self-discovery, music, the creative process, the sh*t I like, romance (or the lack thereof lol), and everything in between.

You dig?


Stay tuned 🙂